Barb's World

Love's Legacy

We all love....each of us does so differently.  Where does this love come from?  God breathes it into us and we are duty bound to breathe it into others. I am grateful for the love in my heart that I have for my children, my family, my friends, my man. I feel loved. I am learning to accept that I am lovable...that in my imperfect state of being it is possible that people can see past the imperfect me and see the real me. I am learning that I have value and I don't have to be perfect, but I fill a need perfectly for some people. This revelation is a gift.  My past doesn’t define who I am, but it has helped create who I am.  The life I have lived, although strewn with mistakes, has brought me to a very sweet place.  I am learning that I am strong. That I choose to be who I am and I have the power within me to be whatever I aspire to be.  Somewhere on my journey I lost myself - not exactly sure when or how it happened but allowed it. I didn’t respect myself enough to fight for my identity, my self worth. God's amazing love brought me back...

Six years ago I spent my last weeks with my mother, who believed in me. She saw not only the perfection that a only mother sees, but the she saw my weaknesses...she saw the real me. She saw potential and knew that loving me the way I needed to be loved would be the way to bring this potential to life.  She breathed God's love into me until she took her last breath.  She taught me to stand strong.  She taught me to be myself. She taught me to forgive. She taught me to get up and keep trying. She taught me to laugh. She taught me to be honest and true....to be real. She taught me to be a friend.  She taught me to dream. She taught me to love.

Be proud of the woman you raised momma....I am my mother’s daughter. It is my hope that my son and daughters share my pride in saying that.  You have left a wonderful legacy of love for us...we are forever grateful.

In Loving Memory of an Incredible Woman

Linda C. Swan

11/28/36 - 11/4/05

© 2011 Barb Weatherwax

Righteousness and Peace

Peace. What does it mean to you?  How do we get it?

I believe that God wants us to pursue it. Sometimes we wish for things to change but are unaware of the need to change or unwilling to do what it takes to make things better. Do you wish that certain things in your life could change? That everything would be better if they did? Until I looked at my life to see what I could do to bring about change, I was really just wishing, which we know does nothing. 

So where does this change begin?  It comes from within. The Son lives within us when we accept his sacrifice...the kingdom of God is within us. What?? How can I be this imperfect being if Christ is in me?  That is a question that I struggle with daily.  Our inner peace is important to our Father. Peace within us is reflected on the outside through grace and kindness. He wants our peace to be authentic...our inner self is the same as what others see.  Our identity is in Christ and knowing this is critical to finding peace....to forgiving ourselves and acceptance of who we are...imperfect yet perfect in Him.

For those of you who know me, I appear to be strong, independent, confident.  For those of you who really know me, I am only strong in Him, dependent on Him and confident He loves me.  For those of you who are closest to me, you know I seek approval, acceptance, security and have a giving heart. You know I would do anything for anyone.  I want to please others and make others feel loved, which is a direct result of the grace my God has bestowed on me.  And for those of you who know me, I often fall short, which truly breaks my heart.  When I learn or realize that I am not full of grace and mercy it literally brings me to my knees. Tears flow....alligator tears...I don’t eat...and I don't sleep.  I know this grieves my Lord as well.

I want to love people the way Jesus loves me.  I have not always done this well, which hurts everyone involved. I need to be still before God more often...enough to recognize my struggle and to work daily to be more like Jesus. I know that the closer I get to his perfection the more vulnerable I am...willing to make right a wrong and to put that desire  for change into action.  I need to learn that if I know who I am in Christ, it’s ok to be imperfect.  He knows already that I am, as does everyone around me.

So, today I find myself feeling sad because of this and am asking myself: Do I know who I am in Christ? Am I walking in righteousness? Am I diligently seeking Him?  Do you? Are you? My hope that your answer is yes!

"Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, that glory may dwell in our land. Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed. Truth shall spring out of the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven."             ~Psalm 85:9-11

© 2011 Barb Weatherwax

 

Transition

I seem to always be in a place of transition.  Moving from place to place both literally and figuratively.   Since May 2010 I have moved 4 times.  This is physical and tangible. Not so easy to measure is the spiritual journey through the years that preceded and the time to present day.  I have been saying that I am not moving again...although in reality I probably will at some point down the road.  One thing I know for sure. I plan to continue to grow in my faith and to acknowledge His grace and honor God for the rest of my days. 

Several years ago I was invited to be a part of something incredible that God was doing through LowCountry Community Church.  I didn't quite know what was to come and I was not really feeling capable or able physically to take on the challenge, but I did it anyway. I felt pressure from some not to, but I felt even more pressure from the Holy Spirit to obey God's calling and this is the path I took. He certainly could have found someone more qualified and better equipped.  There were many times I struggled physically and spiritually to continue. Many times I wanted to quit, but He always lifted me up and brought others along side to teach, encourage and support me.  These same sisters and brothers helped carry me through a life changing event. I believe in His calling to serve at LowCountry He provided me with what I would need physically and emotionally to come out on the other side of a difficult time, stronger yet more reliant on Him.

God is steadfast and true. Sovereign. Omnipotent. Gracious. Loving. He wants to bless us with joy and prosperity. Sometimes this comes through hardship and trauma and not the way we expect it.

This blog began when Todd and Cynthia told me I would be doing it as a part of my role with the Hilton Head campus. I balked. I hesitated. I said, please, no.  I can't. What would I write. Who would read what I write. They did not relent. So here we are years later and although postings have been scant this past year, I cannot imagine not writing. I have missed it and longed for the time to do so.  I love listening to what the Lord is teaching me and sharing it with anyone who wants to take time to read what I write. Thank you Cynthia and Todd for sharing your family, your passion and yourselves in the wonderful journey of bringing the Gospel to our community. Thank you LowCountry Community Church family for blessing me beyond words. There are so many of you that I could not possibly name each of you here.  Thank you for believing in me.  

I am transitioning my blog to another host site, which I am currently constructing. It is my hope that I can post a time or two here before I complete the change. I would be honored if you continue to follow me to my new blog home.  I also encourage you to embrace change. Take a step of faith, especially when it seems crazy or when you doubt yourself. Ask God for guidance and strength.  Trust Him. I know, from my personal experience that He will enable you. The bumble bee is not designed to fly, yet the Father has created it and has given it the means to do so. He will take you where you need to be and will help you transition into the next phase of your journey.  

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."  ~ Proverbs 3:5,6

© 2011 Barb Weatherwax